


My Thoughts Are With You

by Shut_up_im_reading



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Soulmates, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7294153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shut_up_im_reading/pseuds/Shut_up_im_reading
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma never thought she would need or even want a soulmate. She was happy with what she had… until it was gone. Neal left her, taking all she had and leaving her with nothing so when she meets her soulmate she’s not interested.  But when she can hear him in her mind it’s hard to ignore one plan and simple fact. Emma Swan and Killian Jones are meant to be together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short intro for now, there will be five longer chapters posted soon! Hope you enjoy, feel free to leave a comment, feedback is always appreciated :)  
> Shut_up_im_reading

She arrived home to an empty apartment. Everything… gone. He was gone. Taking everything with him. She slid down the back of the door, tears beginning to fall. Her eyes raked the apartment, searching for anything, something. But it was all gone. Everything. Her everything. Neal had gone.

*

Two hours later and she's at a bar, glass of rum in her hand, head on the table in front of her. She's still trying to take in what had happened. She lifts her head and tipped the last of her drink down, feeling the welcome burn scorch her throat. She had looked the whole apartment over, checking to see if anything was still there but Neal had taken anything of value. All that was left was a few pieces of furniture that he probably couldn’t get down the stairs on his own. She sighed and slumped back down onto the table, head in her hands.

_What do I do now?_

She sat like this for hours, ordering a few more drinks throughout the evening. Eventually, she stood up and made her way to the door, wobbling and stumbling as she went. She swings open the door into the cool and lonely night and begins to make her way home when she hears a voice.

_Let me help you_

She froze. Because the voice wasn't coming from the outside, not a sound had been made to break the silence of a city at night, no. The voice was coming from her head. She spun around, looking down the street. She stumbled and almost fell when a strong hand grabbed her, snaking around her waist and pulled her upright. She turned to see a man standing by her side, holding her waist. She pulled back, shaking the fog from her mind. His messy black strands of hair were hanging over his eyes and he was looking at her like she was she was the only light left in the world. She stared at him for a minute before she realised he was speaking and not just in her head.

“…you okay?” he was looking at her with genuine concern, a small smile on his face.

“Umm, yeah I’m… I’m fine” she replied, forcing a smile in return and disentangling herself from him, though he seemed somehow reluctant to let her go.

“You look a bit… unstable” he said, raising an eyebrow as she started walking past him, stumbling as she went.

“I’m fine” she said, firmly.

_Are you sure?_

She stopped. He spoke, but not out loud. No sounds came from his unmoving lips. And she could hear him. She turned slowly, looking at him with wide eyes.

_Did you just…_

_Yeah_

_Holy-_

There was silence. She stared at him and he stared back.

“I guess that means…”

He nodded. She gasped, stumbling backwards, her head shaking in shock and denial.

And ran.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, this one slightly longer :) Hope you enjoy this, again comments are greatly appreciated :D  
> Shut_up_im_reading

Soulmates. They were soulmates. She could hear him, he could hear her. Telepathically. He had tried calling to her as she ran but she wouldn’t turn back. She couldn’t. A long time ago she had decided this wouldn’t happen, she didn’t need it to happen. She always knew she could get by on her own. She didn’t need this. This was added stress she could do without.

Soulmates

Soul. Mates.

Crap.

She arrived home, slamming the door behind her. She froze. In her temporary panic she forgot about Neal and the empty apartment. This was too much to deal with. Neal leaving, finding her soulmate. All in the same day. She slumped against the door before reaching into her bag and grabbing her phone.

After a few rings a friendly voice spoke.

“Hey Emma, what’s up?”

“Would it be alright if I stay the night? I just…” she stopped, tears beginning to slip from her eyes, “I need somewhere to stay for tonight”

“Sure thing, Emma. Head over and we can talk about it”

*

An hour later she was greeted at the door to the loft, where David and Mary Margaret live. David was her oldest friend. She had met him years back, in one of her classes at university, they had instantly clicked and in the blink of an eye they were as close as family. Then David had met his soulmate, Mary Margaret, a little down the line and their marriage wasn’t far off. It hadn’t taken long for Emma to warm up to Mary Margaret and now Dave and Mary Margaret were like parents to her. David had looked after her all the way through uni, from when she was being bullied to all the times he kept her going through all the times Neal had left her only to beg her to come back, time and time again. Held her when she cried, helped her through her work, paid for her textbooks when she couldn’t afford it.

“Hey Emma” Dave said as he opened the door to let her in, “you okay?”

“Not really” she replied, shrugging. Dave reached out to hug her before they went in to find Mary Margaret. She was in the dining room, setting places at the table. She looked up when they entered.

“Hey Emma!” she said cheerfully before she registered her full appearance, “are you okay? What happened?”

“Neal happened. He left me. For real this time. Took everything from the apartment...” she was cut off by a hug from Mary Margaret.

“Oh Emma” she said, pulling back and putting her hands on Emma’s shoulders and looking her in the eyes. Emma looked at the ground for a moment before she muttered something.

“Emma?” Mary Margaret’s eyes were wide, “did you just say…”

“Soulmate” Emma looked up, “I met my soulmate”

David gasped and then moved forward to hug her, crushing her in a fatherly hug.

“Where is he then? Or… her?” he said as he pulled away, eyes searching hers for an answer.

“I… umm well the thing is…”

“Did you run? Don’t tell me you ran, Emma” Mary Margaret said, shaking her head.

“I…. _might_ have done” she replied, looking at the ground and avoiding Mary Margaret’s steely gaze.

“ _Why_?” her voice was gentle, expressing a worry for Emma.

“I was scared okay! Neal left and it was just too much for me to handle in the same day. So I ran”

“Do you know his name?”

“No. I left before as soon as I realised we were… are soulmates”

David pulled her into another hug and Mary Margaret looked at Emma sympathetically.

“So you can hear him? In your head?”

Emma nodded slowly, tears beginning to fall. Dave let her go, holding her out and looking in her eyes.

“Emma. We are going to sort this out okay? Don’t worry about it” he said, searching her eyes, “it’s going to be fine”

Emma nodded in response, smiling at him. He smiled back and took her hand, leading her to the spare room.

*

It was a few hours before she heard his voice again. She was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for sleep to come, when a small voice spoke in the corner of her mind.

_I’m sorry_

She inhaled sharply, tensing at the voice. She couldn't ignore him, she couldn't. She had to reply.

_I shouldn’t be talking to you_

She waited for a response.

_Why?_

Such a simple question. Such a complex answer. She sighed and clenched her fists, trying to explain to him what was going through her mind.

_I… I just can’t_

And with that she shut her mind and tried to sleep.

*

He lay in bed that night, thinking about her. He didn’t even know her name. He met his soulmate and he didn’t know her name. And she ran away from him. He could tell she was having a hard time, he heard her talking throughout the evening, snippets of words, conversations. He kept quiet. He heard mentions of a guy named Neal and he could sense he had hurt her in some way. He suddenly felt the need to speak out to her.

_I’m sorry_

After a few seconds later she replied.

_I shouldn’t be talking to you_

He couldn't understand.

_Why?_

There was another moment of silence before she spoke again.

_I… I just can’t_

He sighed and spoke again, tentatively, worried he would scare her again.

_Please love… I want to get to know you. I know this is a lot to take in us being… soulmates and all but… please just give me a chance, just to talk. We don’t have to be anything other than friends if you don’t want to. But we can’t just ignore this forever._

*

_…we can’t just ignore this forever._

She needed to address this issue. He was right. She couldn’t hide forever, especially now he could talk to her in her mind. This was something she couldn’t run from, something she had to do. So, at last, she decided to talk.

_Okay_

*

There was a silence while he waited for her to reply. Then-

_Okay_

He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding.

_Okay?_

He waited.

_Yeah. I’m sorry for running away earlier. I was just… there’s a lot going on at the minute. I didn’t want to deal with it._

He sighed again with relief. This was something he had wanted for so long. A soulmate. Someone who fitted so perfectly into your life. A best friend. A companion. He had dreamed of having a soulmate. When he was younger he thought it was all a myth, but then, when he was seventeen, his brother met his soulmate, Elsa and they could talk to each other _in their minds_. They were so utterly in love and he wanted that. This was going to be more of a challenge than he ever thought it could be. But he was up for it. When he spoke he was gentle, coaxing her out from behind the walls she had constructed around her.

_That’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?_

_Not really. Can we just… I dunno tell each other our favourite colours or something?_

He laughed out loud at that before replying.

_Sure, if that’s what you want_

When she replied she seemed more... relaxed, at ease.

_Yeah_

He smiled.

_Blue_

_What kind of blue?_

_Like the sea, deep dark blue. You?_

_Red. Like dark red, crimson I guess_

_I’m Killian by the way. Killian Jones_

_Emma Swan_

_Nice to meet you Emma. Mind if I call you Swan?_

_*_

They talked for another hour, discussing their favourite films, bands, flavour of ice cream. They talked and talked and Emma found herself relaxing, enjoying herself. He made her laugh with his silly anecdotes. She found out his favourite drink was rum, the very drink she was nursing the night before when they met, he loved sailing and when he got enough money he wanted to have his own shop, selling trinkets like ships in bottles and hanging anchors. She told him about her love of books, how she was looking for a job as a writer or editor and her dream to own a café slash bookshop. She eventually began to feel sleepy so said a sleepy goodbye and went to sleep, smiling.

*

She awoke the next morning and instantly jumped out of bed, reaching the bathroom just before she threw up. It was her own fault, having that much to drink last night. She rinsed her mouth out and leant heavily on the sink, staring at her reflection. She looked a mess. Her hair was tangled and her eyeliner had smudged all around her eyes. She sighed and set to work sorting herself out. She left the bathroom feeling cleaner and somewhat better. She met Mary Margaret in the kitchen and she spent the next half an hour telling her about her ‘talk’ with Killian.

“So you like him?”

“Sure. He’s nice enough” she said, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. Mary Margaret fixed her with a look.

“Just nice?”

“Yes. Nice. We are just friends, nothing more”

“Emma! You’re soulmates!”

“Yes I know that. Thanks for reminding me”

“So are you meeting him again?”

“Maybe. I dunno. We didn’t talk about that” she sighed, “I guess we should at some point”

“You probably should. Emma, see the good side of this. I know it’s a lot to think about with… Neal leaving, but you _are_ soulmates Emma!”

“Okay, I get it. Soulmates! Yay!” she replied not _un_ -sarcastically, getting up and rinsing her mug out, “can I stay here for a few days? Until I sort out the apartment and find somewhere to go? I know it’s a lot to ask I understand if I can’t stay, I don’t want to impose”

“ _Emma”_ Mary Margaret interrupted, “of _course_ you can stay. As long as you need”

Emma smiled and hugged her friend.

“Thanks Mary Margaret”

*

She threw up the next morning, and the morning after, and the morning after that. To begin with she thought it was just the normal consequences from her night spent drinking, and then drinking some more but she had never had a hangover this long. Then she assumed that it was a sickness of some kind, some bug. At least she did until Mary Margaret approached her one morning after a particularly bad bout of sickness and suggested something that hadn’t even crossed Emma’s mind.

“Emma. Maybe it’s not a sickness… could there be a chance you’re… pregnant?” she had asked, gently rubbing Emma’s back and she sipped a glass of water. Emma choked and spun to face her.

“What?”

“Well, it’s just that you have been throwing up for 4 days in a row now. Have you considered the possibility that… maybe it's morning sickness?”

Morning sickness. The one thing she really didn’t need. She could be pregnant. _Oh god_. A small cry escaped her as her knees crumpled and she fell heavily onto the floor. Mary Margaret gasped and rushed to her side, talking to her. It was like she was underwater, she couldn’t hear anything except the one word. Pregnant. Pregnant. _Pregnant._

_*_

A few hours later she was back at Mary Margaret’s, sat in the bathroom, staring at the test from across the room. The results were there but she couldn’t bring herself to look quite yet. She took another deep breath and stood, crossing the room in a few steps she picked up the test.

Pregnant. _Crap._


	3. Chapter 3

_Pregnant._ The word appeared in his head that morning. Emma. It had to be. He hadn’t heard anything from her for a few days after their late night talk but he could tell something was up.

_Emma?_

It was a few minutes later that she replied.

_What?_

_Are you okay?_

_Yeah… I think_

_What happened?_

He asked anyway, though he had a pretty good idea.

_I… it doesn’t matter Killian_

_No Emma you are not going to leave me worrying about you again. Please._

_I… well maybe we should meet? I can tell you then_

He grinned to himself at this. She was slowly opening up to him.

_Sounds like a plan._

They set about planning to meet in a few days. Although he was worried for Emma, he was willing to wait to hear the words from her mouth. And he'd be lying if he said his heart didn't leap at the chance of finally meeting her, properly, even if he did hate himself a bit for being so happy about it under the circumstances that they were meeting.

*Walking to the park where they arranged to meet, Emma’s hands were shaking. She shoved them in her pockets. It’s the cold, she told herself. Autumn had begun and the leaves were beginning to fall around her, golden, red, orange, all blending together as they collected on the pavement beneath her. She made her way towards a bench and sat, looking at the leaves as they fell.

“Hello”

She looked up and saw him. He approached the bench, grinning at her as he sat next to her.

“Hi” she replied, smiling back at him.

“How are you?” he asked. She could hear the concern in his voice. He was more handsome than she remembered.

“I’m good”

“Really?”

She sighed and looked at him. He looked right back, worry filling his eyes. He reached out towards her and she flinched, moving away from him slightly. He looked at her and slowly dropped his hand.

“Emma…”

“I’m pregnant” she blurted out. She cursed herself. It wasn’t meant to come out like that. She had it all planned, she was meant to let him in gently, not blurt it out. Stupid. She looked over at Killian and saw he was looking at her, the worry in his eyes turned to curiosity.

“Is it… is the baby... Neal’s?” he asked tentatively, looking away from her. She had told him all about Neal yesterday, in a midnight talk. She couldn’t sleep and he must have sensed her worry because he spoke out to her. She told him everything.

“Yeah” this time it was her who reached out, gently lacing her hand on his arm. He tensed under her touch but only momentarily.

“Does he know?”

“No, not as far as I know. I mean, how could he?”

“Good”

“What?” she looked up at him and saw there was a protective glint in his eyes.

“It’s good he doesn’t know, or I would have to find him and make him pay for leaving you alone with a baby”

She stared at him for a moment.

“You would do that?”

“Emma, Love, you’re my soulmate. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you” he took her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss there. She could feel the warmth of his lips on her hand and found herself smiling at the small gesture. Suddenly he stood and tugged her to stand beside him. “Come on Love, let’s get your mind off that idiot” he said, grinning as he pulled her along.

“Where are we going?” she asked, smiling up at him.

“You’ll see” he replied, grinning back at her.

*

He didn’t like seeing her upset. He hated this Neal, that bastard that left her. Sure, he didn’t know about the baby, he _still_ left her. Without even a second thought of _her,_ of Emma. And effectively leaving her homeless. He only thought of himself. But as much as he hated Neal, he also was glad he left. He obviously wasn’t very good for her and because he left, Killian had the chance to meet Emma. His soulmate. He looked at her now as she walked alongside him, smiling to himself to see her relaxed. Although this was only the second time he had met her in person, he could sense she was stressed, a lot, all of the time. He only felt her relax slightly when they spoke and now was the first time he had actually seen her relaxed. He stopped and she looked at him, questioning him with her eyes.

“Killian?”

“I… I just want you to know Emma, even though we are soulmates… if all you want to be is friends… that’s fine”

_We both know that’s not true_

He laughed at her voice in his head. Of course she could tell he liked her. They were soulmates. He couldn’t hide much from her. She grinned back and moved closer to him. He tensed and looked at her, searching her eyes. She looked back at him and took another step closer. Her arms slid round his waist and she kept looking at him.

_You know we can’t just be friends Killian. We’re soulmates._

_Well said._

_So where are we going?_

He blinked and pulled away.

“Umm… oh right… the ice rink” he mumbled, pointing behind her to a large building.

“Ice skating?” she asked, smirking at him. He smiled back, knowing she was messing with him.

“Yeah” he replied, recovering from his moment of awkwardness, “ice skating”

“Alright then. Let’s go” she said, tugging him along towards the building.

*

Emma laughed then quickly covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her giggles. Killian was really, _really_ bad at ice skating. He hadn’t managed to stay standing for more than a few minutes before he tumbled back down to the ice again. He grinned up at her from the ice as she offered him her hand. He took it and tried to pull himself up, only succeeding in pulling her down next to him. She laughed as she slid along the cold ice, narrowly missing a teen as they zoomed past. Killian grinned at her and stood up, wobbling as he shuffled towards her. She laughed again and grabbed the railing next to her, pulling herself upright just as Killian wobbled towards her, grabbing her round the waist to keep himself upright.

“Hey!” she said, laughing and turning to face him, “I’m not just here for you to hold onto”

“Oh really Love? I thought that’s the whole reason you’re here? Or is that not what a soulmate is for?” he said, grinning back at her and tugging her closer. She could sense him hesitating, after the almost moment outside the ice rink. She smiled up at him with a glint in her eye before suddenly turning and skating away from him.

“Catch me if you can!” she called back at him. He laughed and stumbled as he tried to follow her. She turned round and skated backwards towards him, watching as he tripped and slid on the ice and fell once again.

*

They skated for over an hour, well… _skated_ may be a stretch seeing as it mainly consisted of Emma watching and laughing as Killian fell over… again. Emma couldn’t remember the last time she had had this much fun. The whole time she was skating with Killian she forgot. She forgot Neal, she forgot her stress, her worries. But there were some things she could never forget. Soulmates. She would never forget that, she could never, ever forget that. Not with him there, making her laugh and smile like she hadn’t in a long time. Not while he made a fool of himself, to make her forget, to help her relax. She also couldn’t forget the baby. She was going to have a baby and that was a big deal. She couldn't give up the baby, her keeping it wasn't a question. After what she went through in the system... she could never. She knew deep down she would have the support of friends, friends she considered family. She also knew Killian would be there for her. But there would always be an underlying worry that he might leave, desert her like Neal did.

Emma and Killian soon fell into routine, meeting every week at least once, going for coffee, out for a drive or doing various activities Killian was hopelessly bad at… and occasionally they found something he was good at, like bowling. She found herself growing closer to Killian and though they both kept their distance from each other, she could feel the atmosphere changing between them. She sensed the bond between them, growing slowly from friendship to something more. Nothing had happened yet but Emma knew that they were delaying the inevitable. She was falling for him. A few weeks later she was back at Mary Margaret’s, grinning as she stood leaning against the door, watching him head off down the street. She sighed as she watched him leave then shook herself and shut the door, turning to see Mary Margaret watching her, one eyebrow raised in question.

“What?”

“I like the man already” Mary Margaret replied, “You look like a loved up teenager. When do I get to meet him?”

Emma frowned and shook her head.

“I do not. And you can meet him... soon” she said, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. She walked past Mary Margaret, towards the kitchen, hoping she didn’t catch the redness of her face. Mary Margaret gave her a look, like a mother looking at her teenage daughter but she chose not to say anything about Emma’s suddenly flustered state.

“So I was thinking…”

“Dangerous habit that” Emma remarked, grinning at Mary Margaret.

“Just _shh_ for a minute okay she playfully hit Emma on the arm, “I was thinking we could go looking for apartments at some point, maybe this weekend?”

“Sure sounds like a good idea” Emma replied, smiling at her friend.

“Emma” Mary Margaret spoke up as Emma turned to leave, “I’m glad he’s supporting you, with the pregnancy. Or I might have had to stop you seeing him” she said with a grin.

Emma rolled her eyes in response but she knew there was some truth to her friend’s words. Killian was being incredibly supportive about the baby, going with her to her doctor’s appointment the other day (really, she couldn’t keep him away. Even with the promises of female _jargon_ which she had hoped would put him off, even so she’s glad they didn’t), helping her when she felt terrible and didn’t think she wouldn’t be a good mother.

So that weekend Emma found herself looking at a huge number of apartments, all different and none of them right. The ones she liked didn’t fit her price range, the ones that did… well they were horrible. She ended up back at Mary Margaret's place Sunday evening, curled up in bed, tears beginning to leak from her eyes as she thought over her situation. Then suddenly…

_Emma_

_Hey Killian. What’s up?_

_Not much. You seem stressed. You okay?_

_Not really_

_Tell me about it_

So she did. She told him about the apartments and her money issue and how she felt bad for encroaching on Mary Margaret and David's space. Telling someone about her problems made it seem better, made the issue easier to deal with. Then Killian had a mad, crazy, amazing idea.

_Okay, so I have an idea. Don’t take this the wrong way Emma, but…_

He offered her money. To help towards an apartment. Well, it was a bit more complex than that. Killian suggested that they put their money together, his saving and hers to buy an apartment above a shop _and_ the shop itself. He reminded her of their similar lifelong dreams to open shops and suggested they make it a reality. She could have the apartment and he would help out in the shop. She was a bit taken aback by the idea but after thinking about it for a while she agreed that it was an option. She had grown so much closer to Killian recently, something she never imagined happening, at least so fast and she found herself trusting him more and more every day. She had never opened up to anyone like this before, not even Neal and he had been the most serious relationship she had ever really had, not counting her friendship with David and Mary Margaret. She trusted him to know her, know what she wanted, how she felt, what was best. They were soulmates after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long since the last update, ill be posting the last few chapters over the next few weeks. Thanks for comments and sticking around.  
> Shut_up_im_reading

Mary Margaret met Killian a few days after his suggestion. He and Emma spoke about it late at night and decided to come over the next day. He came over for lunch and Mary Margaret was excited. When they heard the knock on the door she rushed into the kitchen where Emma was and grabbed her hand.

“He’s here!”

“Yeah, I can hear that” she said, rolling her eyes at her friend’s enthusiasm, “I’ll go get the door”

She walked to the door and opened it to see Killian, looking dashing as always. She stopped in her tracks, staring at him. He was wearing his trademark leather jacket paired with black skinny jeans and a dark blue shirt. He grinned at her, raising an eyebrow at her staring. She shook herself and smiled back.

“Hey”

“May I come in, Love? Or am I to spend all day here while you stare at me?”

She rolled her eyes and hit him lightly on the arm.

“Shut up idiot. Just come in and meet my friends” she turned back and walked towards the kitchen, shaking her head as she heard Killian laughing behind her.

“Here he is Mary Margaret. You finally get to meet my arrogant idiot of a soulmate” she said as she entered the kitchen, sweeping her arm round dramatically as Killian walked in the kitchen. Mary Margaret laughed at Emma’s overdramatic introduction. Killian approached Mary Margaret and bowed before her, taking her hand and placing a kiss on it. _Damn._ She thought that was only reserved for her. Killian looked over at her, smirking at her and raising an eyebrow. _Damn._ Soulmates. She really needs to think about what she… well what she thinks when she’s around him.

_I don’t mind Love. Think what you want._

_Shut up._

“Ahem!”

Emma looked up and realised that Mary Margaret was staring at them, eyebrows raised. _Oops._

“Sorry” she replied, looking away from her friends stare. Killian laughed and she turned and glared at him.

_Shut up._

She chastises him.

_Whatever the lady desires._

“You’re doing it again. I can tell you know, I do have my own soulmate”

“Sorry”

The pair grinned sheepishly at Mary Margaret like two children caught by their mother with their hands in the cookie jar, then burst out laughing and soon they were all laughing, and Emma found herself thinking what a wonderful way it was to start off the night. And found herself wishing that things could always be this way from now on.

*

Lunch went well. Mary Margaret loved Killian, and David and Killian spent some time talking after lunch, getting to know each other. Emma was pretty sure David was giving him one of his _dad_ talks about her, which made her worry but reminded herself that Killian could deal with it. David was like a big brother and anyone she dated, or even thought about dating got a brotherly talk from David or in other cases a dad talk. Thankfully David and Killian seemed to be getting on well so that was one less thing to worry about. She lay in bed that night, thinking over what happened. Then Killian’s voice appeared in her head.

_That was fun._

_Yeah?_

_Yeah. They seemed to like me_

_Yeah, they did. I’m glad you and David got on well_

_Dave was cool. He gave me a talk about being good to you._

_He does that to anyone I bring home._

_Damn. And here I was thinking I was special_

_You wish._

_I do._

_You… really?_

_Of course I do. You’re an amazing person Emma. I can’t understand why anyone would ever leave you. But I understand if you don’t want this. I understand you’ve been through a lot, Neal and the baby and all, so if you’re not ready for this then I can wait. I’ll wait, for however long I need to._

_Thank you Killian. I… I like you, you’re a great person too and at the minute you’re my best friend, but I love what we have now so…_

_I understand. I’ll be here when you’re ready. Goodnight Emma._

*

Over the next few days Emma, Mary Margaret and Killian looked at various shops and apartments and eventually they found one. A shop in the centre of town came onto the market at a reasonable price, with a small apartment on the third floor, big enough for her and with a spare room for the baby. With both Killian’s savings and her money they were able to buy it. Emma moved in soon after, feeling bad for staying at Mary Margaret and David’s so long.

“Thank you so much for everything, letting me stay so long. I didn’t realise it would take this long to get everything sorted” she said, stood in her new apartment with about four boxes of her possessions as her friend put down another box.

“ _Emma_ , don’t worry about it. Anything for a friend. I know you’re going through a difficult time but I’m here to help out whenever you need it” she replied, walking over and giving Emma a hug. Emma smiled at her friend and moved to open a box.

“And Emma”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you let Killian in. I know you didn’t like the idea of having a soulmate when you met him but I can see how much good he has done you. He’s made you happier. I know you don’t want to admit it but I think you two have a connection. Not just as friends Emma. I think you should give him a chance, move your relationship on”

Emma sighed. She knew this was coming. Mary Margaret liked to lecture her, like a mother. Although she had accepted killian, Emma knew she was still worried about her.

“I’m fine with what we have, being soulmates doesn’t mean we have to be together” she rolled her eyes at her friend. Mary Margaret grinned back at her and gave her a hug.

“I’m just saying. Think about it” Emma smiled and nodded.

“I will”

*

Emma spent the next few days organising the apartment and the shop downstairs. Killian came over at the weekend to help and after a little internet research and phone calls Emma had a plan. She got a loan from the bank to help her get started and brought a small stock of books and furniture to go in the café. The café would be situated on the upper floor and the shop on the ground floor. Her supply of books arrived and she set about organising them. Killian brought in his stock of trinkets; small things, sea shells and home decorations with a clear nautical theme. Within the week they had the shop set up and were ready to open up. She was so happy with their decision, her dream was finally coming true.

Suddenly she felt a pair of arms slide around her waist. She looked down at her stomach, noticing the small swell that had grown. She smiled and spun round to face Killian as he grinned down at her, glancing at her stomach. His smile grew. She smiled back at him and reached her arms around his neck, leaning her head against his chest. He stiffened for a second, remembering the night she told him she needed time. She could tell. Perks of being soulmates. She took a small step closer and he relaxed, sensing the change in her mood.

“Thank you” she said, looking up at him.

“Anything for you, Love. This is your dream and now it’s your reality. I’m just glad I get to be part of it” he replied, smiling at her.

She smiled back and then pulled herself closer, tightening her arms around his neck. He looked at her, his eyes full of questions, searching her eyes, her mind for answers. She could tell he was worried, worried he would overstep the boundaries. She rolled her eyes and went for it, leaning forward until their lips were almost touching. She could feel his breath on her lips and his heartbeat against her chest and she knew this was it. She either did or didn’t. She could go for it, accept this feeling she had been having. Accept it and go forward, into something new and exciting. Or she could back out, stay safe and happy in their friendship. Now or never. Now.

She stayed still for a second, teasing him until he let out a quiet “Bloody hell, Love” and then she closed the gap and they were kissing. And it was like every cliché ever in existence. Fireworks, butterflies, she had it all. His lips fit perfectly to hers and his hands moved to cup her cheek. The kiss was gentle, as though he was worried about ruining the moment. She sighed against his lips as she pulled back slightly, just enough to say.

“I have decided that we should give this- _us_ a go”

“Oh, is that so Love? I thought this was just us being friends”

“Shut up, idiot. I want to take it slow okay? I’m not ready for any serious commitment yet”

“Whatever the lady desires”

She laughed as he captured her lips again, smiling against him, moving her hands to tangle in his hair. His hands travelled down her back, sliding under her top, caressing the small of her back gently. She let out another sigh and suddenly she was lifted. Killian picked her up and carried her to the sofa nearby, dropping her down onto it and landing next to her, all without breaking the kiss. She couldn’t think of anything, only him. Him and his lips and his hands. They stayed there for a long while, forgetting the world. It was just them in their own little bubble, their own enclosed space where the world could be forgotten. They pulled apart after some time, it could have been minutes or hours for all they knew. Breathless and grinning, Killian leaned in and place a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“I’m glad you changed your mind, Love”

“Me too” she replied, smiling up at him, “me too”


	5. Chapter 5

The opening day of the shop went well. They got a lot of customers interested in this newly opened shop slash café. Emma was rushed off of her feet with people buying drinks and food from the café and products from the shop. She spent a lot of her time meeting new people, talking to them about her shop, all sorts of questions. She even made a friend, Ruby, a loud, excitable woman who talked to Emma for half an hour, declaring her café made the best brownies in town and she would be back the next day for more. Emma smiled, thinking back on how well the day had gone. Killian had been in for the first few hours, working part time here and part time at his old job. He had been great, politely talking to people as he worked the till. Helping Emma out whenever there was a lull in purchases. Emma tried to take it easy, being a few months into the pregnancy she didn’t want to hurt the baby or do anything that could in any way have a bad effect. Even though she was yearning for a good cup of coffee.

After a few weeks of the shop being open, Ruby and Emma were firm friends and business was going well. Emma was also looking into getting a part time job as an editor to do from home, to get a bit more income. She liked being able to stand on her own two feet and, although she had accepted Killian’s money to help out with the shop, she wanted to provide for herself from now on. She found a few jobs she was interested in and went to a number of interviews. She soon found a job where she could work from home, so she could work in the café and shop as well. Killian worked a few days a week and helped out in the shop the other few days. Everything was perfect. Her relationship with Killian was growing, they became closer with every passing day, which she didn’t think was possible. They saw each other almost every day, in the shop and when he came over in the evenings. And if she didn’t see him she spoke to him, sometimes for hours, finding herself in a daze, snapping out of it when he said goodbye. All her regular customers knew about Killian and didn’t mind that she sometimes stopped talking and went into a ‘Killian trance’ as they called it. They teased her and asked her about him and were all very friendly to both her and Killian. They often asked about the baby, asking endless questions, was it a girl or boy, when was it due, did she have any name ideas. Names they were obsessed with. The elderly lady, whose name Emma didn’t actually know and insisted she called Granny, loved suggesting things like Esmerelda or Gertrude for a girl and Brian or Albert for a boy. The young businessman, Archie, was pushing for Jimmy or Jemima. The group of ladies from the offices just outside the centre of town had numerous suggestions ranging from things like Harry and Lucy to some more… obscure names like Krysta or Osborne. Emma ended up putting out a small notebook so they could add suggestions to it when she was too busy to talk.

Ruby soon was a close friend. Meeting Killian, Mary Margaret and David, they became a small group, meeting up once a month in the café across town (Emma liked to check out the competition, she had a friendly rivalry with the café owner). That’s where they were now, drinking hot chocolate with cream and cinnamon, after Mary Margaret texted Emma and Ruby and told them to meet her there for some important news.

“So Ruby, how’s the new job?” Mary Margaret asked. She had also grown very close to Ruby and they sometimes went out together, leaving Dave and Killian at home to have some ‘bro time’ as they liked to think of it.

“Brilliant thanks. The hours are a bit tiring but it’s just so much fun” Ruby had recently started yet another new job at a bar, waitressing and sometimes performing, singing and playing guitar. She was a great musician; they had heard her perform at her first night there, having gone to support her.

“Sounds good” Emma said, taking a sip of her hot chocolate before turning to her friend. “You said you had some news Mary Margaret”

“Yes. Right I do. Well…. I’m pregnant!”

“Not you too” Emma said, grinning at her friend and laughing at the expression on her face as Ruby squealed in the background, “I’m joking Mary Margaret. That’s amazing news!”

“That’s so awesome M!” Ruby laughed and hugged Mary Margaret across the table.

“Well, if you’re ever at a loss for names I have a whole notebook full of suggestions back in the café” Emma said, grinning. Mary Margaret laughed and they continued talking, discussing the new baby, Emma’s baby, due dates, girl or boy. Eventually Emma got up to leave, glad to have such great friends.

“I’ll see you guys soon, yeah?”

“Sure” they chimed back. Emma hugged them both goodbye and left the café, wandering along back to the shop. She was lost in her thoughts when she looked up and spotted a familiar figure up ahead.

Neal.

*

_Neal._

He froze, looking up from the till and out the window. Another of Emma’s thoughts had slipped free and made it to him. The one word he didn’t want to hear, hadn’t thought he would hear ever again. He couldn’t leave the shop at the minute but it was close to closing time he would just have to wait. The next half an hour was the most painstakingly slow half an hour of his life. He kept hearing words, snippets of thoughts in his head but when he tried to talk to Emma she didn’t reply. He was torn. And when it finally got to the end of his half an hour torture, he politely moved the last customers along and quickly shut up the shop, racing out the door. He stopped for a second as he realised he didn’t know where she was. He knew she had been at the café across town so he should start there. He ran the whole way, looking out for Emma, calling out to her in his thoughts. He was just running past a park when she finally replied. He stopped dead in his tracks.

_Killian?_

_Emma?! Emma, where are you?_

_Over here._

He turned to look and saw her, sat on the park bench when they had met properly for the first time. He rushed over, pulling her up into a hug as soon as he got to her.

“Are you okay? I heard you Emma. Where is he? What did that bastard want?”

“Hey” she said, reaching up to touch his face, “I’m okay. Neal found out about the baby and came to apologise for leaving, said he would make it up to me, help me out with finances and childcare. I politely told him to piss off and leave me alone. This baby is only his because it shares its DNA with him. Nothing more”

“I’m just glad you’re okay Love. If anything had happened…”

Emma didn’t let him finish, cutting him off with a kiss. It was warm and reassuring, letting him know she’s okay. He responds instantly to her, pulling her in closer and slipping one hand into her hair, letting the silky golden strands fall through his fingers. He pulled back suddenly and Emma grinned hearing his thoughts before he spoke them.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stop. I know you can’t handle it” she said, smile widening as she looked at him, eyebrow raised at the thoughts going through his mind. He raised an eyebrow back at her.

“Emma, Love, I don’t think _you_ could handle it” he said, smirking back at her.

“Oh is that so?” she replied, stepping closer and trailing a hand down his chest, looking up at him through her eyelashes. She let her tongue move slowly across her lips and took another step closer, holding back a laugh at his obvious discomfort.

_Damn it, Swan. Carry on with this and I won’t be able to hold back much longer._

_Well then, maybe we should get out of this very public area and head back to mine?_

_That, Swan, is the best idea I have heard all day._

*

They headed back to Emma’s apartment and soon Neal was forgotten about. Killian pushed her against the door as soon as it closed behind them, his lips crashing against hers in a frenzy of passion Emma could hardly keep up with. They spent the next few hours in their own world, forgetting their troubles and only thinking of each other. Emma lay in bed that night and thought about the day, replaying over and over in her mind the scene with Neal.

_When she spotted him she stopped walking instantly, a hand flew to her mouth to cover her gasp. He saw her and headed over._

_“Emma?”_

_“Neal… what… what are you doing here?” she stuttered, searching his face for an explanation for a moment before she realised. They weren’t soulmates. It wouldn’t be as easy to read him as it was Killian. He looked at her warily, then reached out towards her, then thinking better of it he lowered his hand and said-_

_“So I heard the news. About the baby” he looked up at her sheepishly. He couldn’t actually be ashamed could he?_

_“And?” she replied coldly, trying to stay calm and assess the situation. So he heard about her pregnancy and felt bad for leaving. What else did he want? It wasn’t like Neal to do something like this, come back just to apologise. There must be something else. She found out soon enough._

_“I… Emma I am really, really sorry I left. I just… got scared I guess. Of committing to something so serious, of committing to you. I honestly had no idea you were pregnant or I wouldn’t have left. I know I was a jerk, but I can make it up to, I swear. I realised that this is what I want. A life. A family. A child” he said, looking down at her stomach, where her small bump was, slowly becoming more noticeable over the recent weeks. Emma’s hand went protectively to her bump, looking from it to Neal._

_“What are you saying Neal?” Emma asked warily._

_“I want to give us another go. I want to be involved in my child’s life Emma. Please. Let me help you”_

_It was the last thing she had expected to do, but Emma laughed. She laughed at the stupidity of this man. The man who thought he could leave her at a vital time in her life. Who left her with another human being growing inside her and then thought it was acceptable to just come waltzing back in and be accepted just because he thought she needed help. She looked at Neal straight in the eye, walking up to him, so close he took a step back._

_“I do not need your help. I have managed perfectly fine without you thank you very much. Don’t think just because you feel bad about leaving that you’re going to be able to make it up to me and give ‘us’ another go. You left Neal. You left. You left before, now leave again”_

_“Emma…”_

_“I don’t want to hear it okay? I have been through enough without you coming back to mess things up again. You think that just because you looked at me with your big puppy-dog eyes and said sorry that we could just become some perfect happy family? Be realistic. It’s not going to happen. Not now. Not ever. Maybe you should have thought of that before you went and LEFT ME!” by the time she’s finished she’s shouting and Neal looks like a cowering child being told of by his parents. He looks down at the ground and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. Whatever he was expecting from her, coming here today, it certainly wasn't what she'd given him._

_“I really am sorry” he muttered looking up at her sadly._

_“Me too Neal. Me too” she replied regretfully, before she turned around and walked away._

And that was true. She was sorry. She thought her relationship with Neal was going so well, she had even accepted that she would never meet her soulmate because she wanted to stay with him. And now it seemed she found that _that_ was the problem. She had scared him off with thoughts of commitment, she realised that now. Looking back it should have been obvious. The way he almost cringed at each mention of marriage or kids. How he always had something negative to say about commitment like that. She should have realised he was scared. But she was glad she didn’t notice. Not the cringing nor the negativity. Although when he left she had been devastated and it had left her in a really bad place, it meant she met Killian and ended up with someone she could rely on. Someone she could trust. Someone she could possible, maybe even love someday. Without Neal, her life had taken a great turn towards new and better things. She had new friends, strengthened relationships with old friends, she had a job she loved and a shop. Her dream. She had Killian and she had a baby. Her baby. Only Neal’s due to biology. Killian was more a parent to her unborn child than Neal was. And the child wasn't even born yet.

_I heard that._

The familiar voice snuck into her head.

_Dammit Killian. Can you tell me when you’re going to sneak into my head?_

_I couldn’t resist Love. I just love hearing all the lovely things you say about me when you think I can’t hear you._

_Shut up. You were supposed to be asleep._

There was a comfortable silence between them, until-

_Emma?_

His voice echoed in her head.

_What?_

_I will try and be the best father figure to your child. Even if what we have… doesn’t work I will always be there for you and any children you have._

Her heart warmed and she smiled.

_Thanks Killian_

_You're welcome Love_

_Goodnight Killian_

_Goodnight Swan_


	6. Chapter 6

Emma awoke the next day and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. As she stretched her tired limbs, the conversation she had with Killian began to seep back to her. She smiled as she remembered his promise, to be a father to her child. And as she lay in bed she realised something. She wasn’t scared. This kind of commitment, even though it was to her child and not to her, would usually scare her into running, running as far from the situation as she could. She didn’t know what it was, but this time, with Killian… she didn’t want to run. Killian was different to anyone she had ever met before. She trusted him. Well, that was probably normal for soulmates. They were meant to be together, they both knew that but he didn’t push it. He knew she wasn’t ready and he respected that. He was willing to wait, for as long as it took, for her to realise her feelings. She was beginning to think he wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

*

Killian stood outside her door, one handed raised ready to knock, the other holding two takeaway cups, when the door flung open. Emma stood on the other side, grinning at him.

“Heard you coming” she said, pointing to her forehead. He grinned back at her as she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, shoving the door shut with her foot.

“I come bearing hot chocolate” he said, offering her one of the cups he was holding.

“And that’s why we’re soulmates” she said, taking a cup and smiling at him.

“How are you Swan?” he asked as she sank down onto the sofa.

“I’m okay I guess” she said, tucking her legs under her and leaning her head back.

“That’s good” sitting down next to her, he took a sip of hot chocolate looking at his soulmate over the rim of his cup.

_Stop staring at me, idiot._

_Why?_

_Because… I dunno._

_I’m sorry, Love, but it’s hard not to stare at you._

_Shut up._

_Fine._

He looked away smirking, glancing out the window. There was silence for a few minutes, comfortable.

“Thank you Killian” she spoke out suddenly, setting her drink on the coffee table.

“What for?” he asked, turning back to look at her.

“For everything you’ve done for me” she replied, nudging closer to him, “for being so understanding about this whole soulmates thing. It means a lot to me that you haven’t pushed things between us”

“Emma, love, I need you to realise I’m in this for the long haul. I’ll do anything for you if it makes you happy. I know you don’t want this now, but I hope someday we can move beyond friends, become something more. You certainly are more than a friend to me. You’re my soulmate, my other half. You’ve been a great friend, a best friend since I met you” he put his drink down and turned fully to face her, taking her hands in his, “Emma, I love you. And not just because of…”

_This_. He spoke out to her in her mind now. _Not just because we are soulmates, not because I’ve been told to, because you are wonderful. You are beautiful and amazing and so strong Emma, so strong. You don’t need anyone, not even me. You can stand on your own two feet just fine without me. But Emma, I want to help you, I want to be there for you even if you don’t need it. I want…_

_I want you._

Her words stunned him into silence. He stared at her, paralysed, until he managed to drag out a jumble of the thousand words drifting in his head.

_What? Emma?_

Her gaze was steady, sure, serene. He'd never seen her so calm and contented. Smiling angelically at him, she continued.

_I want you, Killian. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I realised I want you in my life. I want you to be there for me, for me to be there for you. I want this._

And then she moved, reaching a hand up to his cheek she leaned in, so close she could feel the light brush of his stubble against her cheek.

“Emma?” he muttered, leaning back the slightest amount so he could look in her eyes, “you’re sure?”

_Yes._

And then her lips were upon his, gentle at first, testing to see his reaction. His lips instantly melted against hers, his hands moved to her back, pulling her closer. She sighed, her hands moving into his hair as the kiss deepened. The world around them vanished, there was only the two of them, together at last. Suddenly his lips were gone, moving across her face, leaving a trail of light touches. After a second she took his face in her hands, leading his lips back to hers. The kiss slowed and Killian moved back, breathing heavily as he looked into her eyes.

“Emma that was…”

_I know._

She smiled at him serenely. Then something flashed behind her eyes and Killian’s hope dimmed, every feeling of love and bliss faltering, falling inside of him. He sighed. She looked like she was about to say something, so Killian finished for her-

“… a one-time thing?”

Emma frowned for a second, and then smirked. Delight and love swelling in her chest, her eyes glassed over now with unwavering love, meeting his directly with a gaze of glimmering green emerald as she whispered to him-

“A one life thing” she took his hands in hers, dropping her eyes to where they interlaced, “Killian… I want a forever with you. I’m ready to accept this, us. I know I said I wasn’t ready for any serious commitment but… well, I am now. I’m ready to accept that we aren’t just friends, we weren’t just dating. We’re soulmates. I want that, more than anything. Forever. Not one time, one life, an entire life. _Forever…_ ”

*

Emma awoke to feel a weight draped across her. She twisted over to see Killian, fast asleep next to her. She smiled and snuggled closer, leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek. Killian moaned and blinked, looking up at her and smiling.

_Morning Love._

“Morning sleepyhead” she replied aloud, brushing a stray curl of his dark, messy hair from his face, “How long are you planning on sleeping?”

“Forever if you’re here with me” he mumbled, slipping his arms round her waist and drawing her closer to him, placing gentle kisses along her neck and jaw, finally reaching her mouth. The kiss was gentle and sweet. Emma pulled back slowly, resting her head on his chest. She wanted to stay here, with Killian lying beside her, for as long as possible. But she couldn’t. She had an appointment today, a check-up just to make sure the baby was okay. She sighed and leaned back, looking up at Killian.

“As much as I want to stay here forever as well. I can’t” she watched as his face fell and smiled back at him, “hey, it’s okay. I just have a doctor’s appointment. I should probably get up”

Killian relaxed, leaning over to kiss her. Emma smiled and pulled back, forcing herself to get out of bed. She shuffled to the kitchen and set the coffee machine going for Killian. She set to making breakfast, setting plates down on the table and putting toast in the toaster. Killian came in a few minutes after her, walking up behind her and sliding his arms around her waist. She smiled and turned around, putting her arms around his neck.

He looked handsomely dishevelled, messy hair sticking up at all angles. His stunning blue eyes glittered as he grinned at her and up close Emma could see the slightest smattering of freckles on his tan cheeks. To her, he looked perfect.

_I often have that effect on women._

_Shut up._

She leaned in, capturing his lips with her own. A moan escaped her lips as Killian picked her up and placed her on the countertop, his hands swiftly moving to her hair. She leaned forwards, pulling him closer, her hands clutching his shoulders, tugging his t-shirt as the kiss deepened. Killian chuckled against her lips.

"Come on Love" Killian laced her hands with his between them, "as much as you know I'd love to take this further, we have an appointment which we cannot miss"

Emma groaned, until she realised something.

"We?" she asked.

"Of course Love. You didn't think I'd let you get away with going alone, did you?" he grinned devilishly at her and she beamed in response. Giving him a quick kiss which she wished could last forever, she practically skipped out of the room to go and get dressed for the day.

*

Killian began staying over in the evenings, helping out in the shop whenever he could. He had made a deal with his old job to let him work from home so he stayed in the apartment with her most of the time, working or helping her organize the rooms, mainly the nursery for the baby. He had been brilliant when it came to the baby as well, running errands for her, getting her tubs of honeycomb ice cream and strawberries when she had strange cravings, even cooking when she had a particular hunger for cheese pancakes. Even now she has no idea how he managed to make a cheese pancake, he even ate it with her. Who’d have thought cheese pancakes would be so good?

Emma and Killian became almost inseparable, whenever Killian wasn’t at Emma’s apartment she was at his. And when Emma went into labour he was right beside her the whole way through. When he holds her beautiful son in his arms she can’t help the tears that fall. This image is so perfect. She never thought it would be what she wanted but here she was. She had a son, a soulmate… a family. Together they spent quite some time picking a name. Eventually they settled on Henry, as suggested by Regina, a kind young business woman who came into the cafe once a week to meet with friends.

She watched him now, making pancakes in the kitchen with Henry sat on his hip as she sat on the sofa and her heart glowed with the happiness that she never thought she'd find as she saw her son wrap his tiny fingers around Killian's thumb. Just then, Henry started fussing. Her heart jumped into action and she was ready to jump in and take him from him, when she stopped. She stared at the scene before her, child in his arms. He was rocking the baby gently, cradling his tiny head in his arms, making soft cooing noises, singing softly to lull the small child to sleep. Henry quietened and Killian's sweet singing became more audible and Emma had never been more in love with this man, this man who was her soulmate, this man who had given her everything which she thought she would never had, this man who stood before, nursing her child, who loved her in return. He caught her staring transfixed and she blushed.

_I love you too, Swan._

She smiled serenely, walking over to join him. Shifting to cradle Henry with one arm, he slipped his other arm around her shoulders to pull her closer, pressing a kiss on her forehead. She smirked, cooing down at the sleeping baby, and looked up with mirth in her eyes at Killian.

_Can you ever stay out of my head?_

He returned her gaze with equal warmth and fervour.

_'Course not, Swan, my thoughts are always with you._

He pulled her closer and she moved her arm to slip under where Henry was in his arms so that he sat, cradled between the both of them. The two soulmates gazed lovingly at each other and then the child in their arms.

_And I you._


End file.
